A little window into Stella's psyche.

Yes, yes. I her you thinking to yourself, isn't every single post a window into her twisted and yet somehow not terribly compelling inner workings? Ahh, but this one is about FOOD.

Okay, gather your ingredients: 1/4 yellow or white onion, 2 TBS butter, a littleish steak - cheap is good, you're gonna slice it into bits, a hoagy roll, some cheese if you want, minced garlic or in a pinch, garlic powder, salt, black pepper, and - this is really important - a bottle of au jus concentrate. No scoffing. Also, if you want to add a token 1/2 a green pepper, I won't stop you. Same goes for a dash or two of Tabasco.

Firstly, make sure your knife is sharp. Then use your sharp knife to slice the onions and the steak very thin. Cut the steak against the grain, it'll be tenderer. Throw half your butter in a hot skillet, let it melt, and then toss in your onions and steak. Meanwhile, put a sweet potato in the microwave to nuke. A small one will be done in about 5 or 6 minutes. Okay, back to your mess in the pan. When your meat is well-done, add your seasonings: s&p to taste, a clove's worth of garlic, and a tablespoon of the au jus concentrate. Stir constantly for another minute or two, then take out of your pan. Deglaze said pan with 2 TBS of au jus concentrate and 1/4 hot water (just out of the tap. No whining) until it simmers. Pour it off into a conveniently located decorative dish, or a custard cup, which is what I prefer. Put your skillet back on the heat. While it warms up, butter your hoagy roll with 1/2 TBS butter on each side. Yeah, you read that right. Sprinkle it with garlic powder if you have some laying around, but if not, no big deal. Now put those butter side down in your pan. Toast them until the buttery part is crispy. Okay, then bottom of the roll, a slice of swiss cheese, your onions and steak (and peppers if you weren't too lazy, like I was), top of the roll. Squish liberally. Put your custard cup of au jus next to your sandwich, cut into your sweet potato and dot liberally with butter and sprinkle with salt (or brown sugar if you're daring). Think about a salad. Decide against it. Pour a gigantic glass of Cabernet that you've had sitting around for a few weeks, actually about a glass and three quarter's worth, but who wants to go back for a refill? Alternate dipping your sandwich, sipping your wine, which is okay for sitting so long, and taking tiny bites of caramelly sweet potato. Make a big mess splashing au jus around. Roll your eyes at the debris in the kitchen. Lament the lack of pudding in your house.

This is best consumed while listening to Elvis Costello.