Saturday, March 14, 2009

I wish I were that girl.

I have never, to my knowledge, been anyone's muse. I mean, aside from a few painful high school poems and the song H. wrote about my being chastised for asking men to bring me drinks onstage. Just like anyone, though, I have been listening to the radio or the B-side of some scratchy cassette tape, and thought to myself: that's me! This song is me! And just like anyone, sometimes instead, I thought to myself: Dammit all, why am I not this girl? The misunderstood, gorgeous genius who causes sleepless nights and hopeless devotion and a SONG, an ode to my cleverness and wit and deep brown eyes... More than anything, I wanted to leave someone so profoundly affected by my loss that the only salve for their wounded soul was a bittersweet ballad about how he would never love anyone the same way again. Or maybe to seem so unattainable that the only way to win me over would be to pen a missive that would never be sent, only played. Preferably over the airwaves, where it would be heard by millions of people. Who would consequently buy the album, making artist rich. So he would be famous, and I would read about him in a magazine, and think: That guy! I forgot about him. I should give him a call.

When I was in high school, the Replacements were on their way out, which is a shame, because this album was the one that convinced me that boys could really mean it when they said they fell just as hard as girls. Whenever I am in doubt about it, I listen to this song and I wish I were her.

she opens her mouth to speak, and what comes out's a mystery

Jack White hardly seems the knight in shining armor type, but I'd let him buy me a beer and listen to my neurotic list of slights and wrongs.

lots of girls walk around in tears, but that's not for you

I do not want to be Joey Ramone's girlfriend. But I like that he asked.

do you love me best? what can I say?

Equal opportunity swoonage. Oh, Kathleen Hanna...

rebel girl, you are the queen of my world

Cake explains how we really all feel about "let's just be friends"

I'm really only praying that the words you'll soon be saying might betray the way you feel about me.

There are thousands of others - pretty much anything Elvis Costello ever wrote, for example - but I have to leave you a few to discuss in the comments. What songs made you wish you were the singer's object of affection?


  1. well, I am a sap...