How to make a really good sandwich

1) Start by preparing a batch of gorgonzola dressing. A basic buttermilk recipe with lots of black pepper and an equal amount of gorgonzola cheese blended in is perfect. If you MUST, you can go with some prefab stuff, but stay away from the plastic bottles of "blue cheese" on the non-refrigerated shelf. You will call me ugly names if you go that route.

2) Find some sturdy bread. I like mini baguettes, but a good solid sourdough would work, or pita. Just be sure that whatever you choose is going to have to integrity to withstand the filling. I would avoid regular sliced bread; it will break under the strain like your high school boyfriend did when you dropped him because he wouldn't wear a lime green silk waistcoat to prom.

3) Choose an assortment of vegetables. My last version included a perfectly ripe avocado, red pepper slices, a Roma tomato, leaf lettuce, and shredded carrots. Forget to add one of these veggies in the building process - I went with the carrots - otherwise your final result may prove unwieldy.

4) Slice some good medium cheddar cheese. I know you like other cheeses better, but you want to compliment the bleu cheese in your condiments, and something mild like Muenster is going to get lost, and something bold like a sharp cheddar is going to be too prevalent.

5) Assemble: A generous dollop of your homemade dressing on one side, a scant smear of a biting mustard (Dijon for me, but don't let it stop you from using stoneground or something) on the other. Avocado goes on the bottom, lightly mashed so it stays put. Then tomato, lettuce, cheese. The pepper slices, due to their affinity to slide around, go in the hollowed out top, where the dressing is, so they are kind of glued into place.

6) Slice in half unless you intend for the vast majority of the filling to be in your lap rather than your mouth.

7) Enjoy with a glass of fizzy water and some Kettle chips. I went with barbeque.

8) If you want, we can make these together and sit on the couch and eat them and read magazines and I will regale you with interesting tidbits out of my National Geographic about Peruvian mummies and you will finally have to tell me to stop talking about dissection while we are eating and so I will pout for a moment and then try to steal the Rolling Stone out of your hands. Then we will make a batch of cupcakes and you will try to borrow something, probably a shirt or maybe my new Chuck Klosterman book, and I will let you because I am THAT HAPPY that you came over just to eat sandwiches with me. Or we could rent a movie if you don't want to read magazines. It's up to you.