Thursday, August 21, 2008

Thursday, 1:53 p.m.

I am filthy. I smell like stale coffee and slightly scalded milk, I have whipped cream smeared suggestively on my thigh and a sticky substance that I hope to Jeebus is chutney on the back of my arm near my elbow. Although the day is a balmy and overcast 57, I have been sweating like I live in Alabama for the better part of the day. I wish I could say I look windblown or tousled or tumbledown, but the truth is, I look sweaty and blowsy and disgruntled, because I am.

The sum of today's nutritive intake is comprised of the following: six shots of espresso, most of them liberally doused with hot whatever-milk-is-at-hand foam but at least one of them straight with no coddling, and half a boysenberry muffin. The result is that my skittering heart is far outpacing both my shaking hands and my stuttering intellect. It feels like there is a beast in my chest, poised to leap forward and consume the drink that I am mixing like an automaton. I can't remember the name of it, or who it belongs to. I plan on handing it to the hopeful patron waiting at the end of the counter, whether or not it belongs to them. It may even make them stop staring at me.

One more day of this and then blessed rest, loosed from captivity.

This, my friends, is why you tip your barista.


  1. I remember that, just do not forget to smirk at the tea drinkers

  2. I would love to have one of those days again.

  3. I like when we used to over-caffeinate each other and get into arguments about things like who we'd rather be: Erykah Badu or Jimmy Buffet.

  4. Jimmy Buffett owns an island and flies airplanes. And he's on my guilty pleasures list.

    Erykah Badu has some turbans and a kid named Zion. Or Freedom? Can't remember.

    No contest.

  5. GOD. I know, we already settled this. You win.